i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Still dying that you shit outside
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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