I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
