Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize