I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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