Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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