ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize