I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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