so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
