the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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