Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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