Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
