God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize