I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
