you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
