it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
