Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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