Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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