ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize