if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
then he tried to convert me to islam
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
