so let's talk penis.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
