Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
