great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
