He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
