I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
