it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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