hell yes lets make some ravioli
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize