Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
