Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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