people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
