I need help removing her.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
