yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
