I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
how does that bad decision feel?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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