I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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