addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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