you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
