My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
