If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
