So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you would pick up someone in the library
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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