I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
