from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize