yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
