So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
