so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
