I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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