i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
