I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
