HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
