I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
