She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
