Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize