I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I love you.
Bad choice
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
