Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
