just come out here and I will go home with you...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
