Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
