It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
