Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize