i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
