I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
