fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
