Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
