turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
