Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
