Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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