I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
