I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think a kid would responsible me up
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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