never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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