Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
