dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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