where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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